Rules??

I confess, I follow most rules.  As an artist this can be an oxymoron and yet potentially liberating.  It can also be a wonderful framework in which to press the edges until they mold to what I want.

In life, I try to follow rules.  In life, I often fail.  This is not because I am such a rebel, I am not, at least not until I am pressed, not unlike that aforementioned framework...   Rather the issue I face with rules is that I just don't understand a lot of them.  Dare I say - your rules; dare I say your rules, except when they apply to me?

I get shushed, more than I would like and often by people who seem to enjoy my company. I guess my company is OK up to a certain volume.  My cousin posted a t-shirt on Facebook to another cousin of mine; the t-shirt read:

http://www.greekworldmusic.com/product_info.php?products_id=3203&osCsid=pei36r19so11r7cvg52dr2c330

Actually, while there is some truth culturally, in saying that Greek culture accepts a different level of interaction volume, it could also be construed as an ethnic slur.  I was not encouraged in my upbringing to have no opinions nor to be unwilling to express them.  I was encouraged to be lady-like, but also full of life.  So I chose to keep my legs together when wearing a skirt, and to speak fully when moved to expression.  This is against the rules, especially if wearing a skirt; why those two are related boggles my mind.  I do not get the rules.

Museums are not churches, you may talk.  You may feel.  You may rejoice with consideration of others and of the work (Do not throw snowballs in a museum). I walked into a gallery in the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York,  to visit my favorite Manet angels:



http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/works-of-art/29.100.51


and wept instead when I encountered a Courbet:

http://www.metmuseum.org/toah/works-of-art/40.175

It just plain floored me that day.  The guard thought I was nuts.  Perhaps I was, but I felt overwhelmed and it felt alive to allow the full sensation of that feeling.  It is a beautiful painting (not well represented online). I could feel the touch of Courbet's brush on the canvas. I still love the Manet too, but that Courbet, just got to me.

Television is entertaining.  Why do people think that it is odd of me to laugh out loud at a joke on TV?  I am in my own house and I am not disrupting their pleasure; I do not get this rule.

I like funky clothes.  I wear them less than I used to because I am old.  The age things matters to me because I belong to other people and I might make them feel foolish.  I hate that, but I try to follow that rule a bit.  Most people would tell you that they have no idea what I am saying, since I always look weird; they have no idea what I left in my closet.

It is nice not to rob, injure, murder, cheat, lie....but really, if I am loud in the hall while you are playing bridge, will it kill you;  4 seconds of 24 hours, because I laughed, fully?

I can't do Facebook according to he rules either.  I have no idea what those rules are, but I seem to be messing up there royally.  I keep getting private messages or phone calls that say "Stop!" "Take it down!" or "Oh no!!!"  I keep sending "Sorry."  I feel about 3 years old.  If you see less of me on Facebook, that's why - I seem to be really stepping in it and I do not want to bother anybody.

I am a bull in the china shop of the world.  I don't like breaking the china, I am just trying to say hello and get out of your way.  Perhaps I should press my ringed nose against the glass, but that would probably scratch it.  Point me to Wall Street where I can play outside and be a good omen.

In the meantime, as I have been told, I will continue to be as described: "...about a subtle as a Mack truck" and "What you see is what you get."  I take these as compliments.  I have little subterfuge, I stink at lying and I wear my heart on my sleeve. Rules?  I am very compliant, but I often can't read the language.

Sorry is my mantra, but expression seems to be my tenacious, truculent, succulent, inexorable identity.

                    .....Sorry.