Boats, Worries and Dreams

I have had three days off from the studio.  I needed them.  I have FOUR canvases staring at me and I am so excited to finish them I can't stand it.  This is particularly goofy since one canvas is fighting me tooth and nail, and the other three are still being prepped to receive paint.  Ha!

I avoided the press today.  I feel very pressured to be extra good at the medium my degree bears.  I am supposed to be so great at printmaking, but I have done very little in the last few centuries.  You notice Dracula never returns to Transylvania, so why am I? Of course, he traveled with his own dirt.

My husband and I went to the Annapolis, US Boat Show, on Friday.  It was drizzly and a little cold, but it was lots of fun and nice to not be roasting from the heat.  The show is for sailboats and they were lovely; many were huge and extremely expensive.  We were asked to only board in bare feet and since I am not allowed to be barefoot (I even swim in sandals) I did not board many boats and no million dollar ones. Nevertheless it was fun to dream about vacations aboard ship, cruising the Mediterranean, Ionian and Aegean seas. Lolling in bunks tucked into sloping sides of fiberglass, listening to the soft lap of the waves.  Of course I could also be rolled right out of the bunk in a storm that blew up so quickly I would call out to Poseidon in a panicked promise to never darken his beautiful waters again. I always try to see two sides of every coin; sometimes I can even see four or five.

We all have our expensive fantasies, boats, travel, planes, cars, art supplies; things we would do if we won the lottery.  I would set up some scholarship funds, travel, get a studio and someone to do all that darn yard work.  New kitchen (mine is 1967 original including gold electric stove, but hey three our of four burners still work and I love that thing). New bathrooms - also original.  Fewer worries, ah fewer worries; "Ay, there's the rub."  having money is a worry too.  Having anything is a worry; having nothing is a bigger worry.  I worry less than I used to, but I still worry, which is why I took three days off to rest, dream and to drive around on a beautiful Sunday, looking at the beauty of a crisp fall day.

Tomorrow, if the press room is free, I will tackle that and I will face that painting that wants to break me and shore it up into something better yet. It wants to fight, but I want to bring it out of itself; I better win and fast, the blank canvasses have big eyes right now.